Wednesday, June 02, 2004
The Hammies are at it Again!
Last night I went to bed around 11:30pm. I took a couple sleeping pills since I’ve had some trouble falling asleep these days. It was easy last week when I didn’t have to work. But now that my schedule is all fucked up, I’m like wide awake at midnight every night. Anyways…tangent over.
I took my pills and laid my pretty head on my pillow. Yes, it’s pretty. Fuck you for doubting.
I fell asleep pretty quickly and immediately found myself in my apartment. It was like waking up in a Freddy Krueger nightmare. (By the way, Microsoft Word corrected the spelling of the word “Krueger” for me. I didn’t know Bill Gates was such a horror fanatic) I woke up in my dream to find myself standing in my bedroom. Instead of my usual two hamster cages, I had three. The third one was broken and it had some sort of water slide attached to it. It made a lot more sense in the dream.
When I looked further into the broken cage, I realized that my three hamsters had babies. I mean, they’re all male, but I rationalized for myself that even though they all have penises, animals will find a way to survive. You understand.
When the baby hamsters started going down the water slide, I began scooping them up and putting them back into their appropriate cages. They bit me on my fingers the whole time. As I dropped them into their cages, I noticed that more babies had been born. As the dream progressed, all three cages began filling up with hamsters and I couldn’t scoop them up fast enough. Next thing I know there are hamsters biting my toes and running everywhere in my apartment.
I remember a distinct feeling of fear. Some of the older hamsters in the cages were huge. They looked like they were going to explode with more babies. I screamed for Kelly to come in and help me. Finally Kelly arrived and I yelled at her for putting the hamsters in the broken cage. “Now look what has happened!”
Kelly laughed and thought it was pretty funny that there were so many pets running around our apartment. Suddenly there was a knock on our front door and our OLD next door neighbors, Don and Joan, came in and told us that there were hamsters all over the floor of my building. “We’re going to call the police if you don’t take care of this mess!”
I ran back into my apartment to find hundreds of hamsters in my bedroom. I felt horrible, but I knew that the only way to get rid of them was to throw them out the window. As I tried to toss them out, they latched on to my fingers with their razor sharp teeth. I did one of those hand shaking wildly maneuvers, but the little bitches wouldn’t let go. I distinctly remember the pain they were inflicting on my poor gay hand.
I couldn’t keep up with the hamsters reproducing and eventually I just sat down on my floor and cried. Kelly came over to me and told me to quit it. She called me a “baby” or something and I just sat there with hamsters biting my toes.
Eventually I woke up and remained awake for the rest of the night.
It was an awful dream and the weirdest part about it? I had torn skin on my thumb this morning. Maybe I bit it while I was sleeping? Maybe the hamsters jumped into my real world a la Freddy Krueger.
In either case, I’m going home and killing all of my hammies.
Last night I went to bed around 11:30pm. I took a couple sleeping pills since I’ve had some trouble falling asleep these days. It was easy last week when I didn’t have to work. But now that my schedule is all fucked up, I’m like wide awake at midnight every night. Anyways…tangent over.
I took my pills and laid my pretty head on my pillow. Yes, it’s pretty. Fuck you for doubting.
I fell asleep pretty quickly and immediately found myself in my apartment. It was like waking up in a Freddy Krueger nightmare. (By the way, Microsoft Word corrected the spelling of the word “Krueger” for me. I didn’t know Bill Gates was such a horror fanatic) I woke up in my dream to find myself standing in my bedroom. Instead of my usual two hamster cages, I had three. The third one was broken and it had some sort of water slide attached to it. It made a lot more sense in the dream.
When I looked further into the broken cage, I realized that my three hamsters had babies. I mean, they’re all male, but I rationalized for myself that even though they all have penises, animals will find a way to survive. You understand.
When the baby hamsters started going down the water slide, I began scooping them up and putting them back into their appropriate cages. They bit me on my fingers the whole time. As I dropped them into their cages, I noticed that more babies had been born. As the dream progressed, all three cages began filling up with hamsters and I couldn’t scoop them up fast enough. Next thing I know there are hamsters biting my toes and running everywhere in my apartment.
I remember a distinct feeling of fear. Some of the older hamsters in the cages were huge. They looked like they were going to explode with more babies. I screamed for Kelly to come in and help me. Finally Kelly arrived and I yelled at her for putting the hamsters in the broken cage. “Now look what has happened!”
Kelly laughed and thought it was pretty funny that there were so many pets running around our apartment. Suddenly there was a knock on our front door and our OLD next door neighbors, Don and Joan, came in and told us that there were hamsters all over the floor of my building. “We’re going to call the police if you don’t take care of this mess!”
I ran back into my apartment to find hundreds of hamsters in my bedroom. I felt horrible, but I knew that the only way to get rid of them was to throw them out the window. As I tried to toss them out, they latched on to my fingers with their razor sharp teeth. I did one of those hand shaking wildly maneuvers, but the little bitches wouldn’t let go. I distinctly remember the pain they were inflicting on my poor gay hand.
I couldn’t keep up with the hamsters reproducing and eventually I just sat down on my floor and cried. Kelly came over to me and told me to quit it. She called me a “baby” or something and I just sat there with hamsters biting my toes.
Eventually I woke up and remained awake for the rest of the night.
It was an awful dream and the weirdest part about it? I had torn skin on my thumb this morning. Maybe I bit it while I was sleeping? Maybe the hamsters jumped into my real world a la Freddy Krueger.
In either case, I’m going home and killing all of my hammies.
